DBZ College: The Marcellous Story
by The Ultimate Saiyan
Summary: AU. Prequel to DBZ College. Marcellous has always been the smart-alec, wise-cracking member of the DBZ College Crew. But what was he like before College? He wasn't born awesome, you know. OC's. Don't like? THEN GTFO.
1. Snoozing in History

**Hey guys, The Ultimate Saiyan here.**

**I hope you guys are ready for the first ever DBZ College prequel, but before you can read it I must be cliché and tell you why I decided to write this story, because I know you guys OMG SO TOTALLY CARE.**

**I was re-evaluating myself as an author, when I realized I had made a rookie mistake. I put Marcellous into DBZ College without any sort of history or anything, so I decided to write this story. I also plan to detail how Marcellous became the "bad mama-jamma" he is today.**

**ALSO, please remember this story is set a few years before DBZ College begins, so Marcellous and everyone else would be High School Juniors during the 2005-2006 school year.**

**Enjoi!  
**

* * *

8:15 AM – Hirokiwa Academy

Some dude with big, spiky hair was just walking around the halls, wearing his usual football jacket. He merrily whistled with a spring in his step until he stopped at a locker, a woman putting her things in it.

"Hey ChiChi!" the young man shouted as he sprang out from behind the locker door.

"Goku, you do that every day, it's starting to get annoying."

"Yet, you never do anything about it."

"Hey."

Goku jumped up. "Vegeta, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"You're so stupid, Kakarot!"

"I still haven't gotten the stain out of my undies from last time you scared me!"

"....Disturbing."

Then Goku saw a guy beating up a nerd.

"Nerd Beating...." Vegeta sighed.

"My turn." Chichi said as she rolled up her sleeves and walked over to the beating.

"Yeah!" shouted the guy as he kicked the nerd on the ground.

"You can stop now, Broly." ChiChi said.

"No way!" Broly shouted as he continued to abuse the nerd, "I cheated off his Literature test and I got a 40!"

"Either you knock it off, or I knock you out." ChiChi said as he cracked her knuckles.

"Heh, you can try to knock-"

Then ChiChi decked Broly in the nose. Broly fell backwards, blood erupting from his nostrils. ChiChi then helped the nerd up.

"T-Thanks ChiChi." the nerd said as he dusted himself off and fixed his glasses. He was wearing a green plaid shirt with high-water pants, showing off his brown dress shoes and the socks his mom probably picked out for him.

"Marcellous, that's the third beating he gave you this week!" ChiChi said.

"Actually, it's the fifth."

"Nobody asked you!" ChiChi shouted as she stomped on Broly's head, knocking him out for good.

Then the bell rang.

"Well, w-we better get to class."

9:25 AM – Geography

Some random teacher was pointing out a few things on the board.

"The history of India begins back in the 19th Century, when Britain controlled India. One man would rise up against Britain, and declare nonviolent protest. Who was that man?"

Marcellous' hand shot up before most students could even register the question.

"Marcellous...." the teacher groaned. He was totally tired of having to call that particular name every time he asked a question.

"Mahatma Gandhi."

"Right." the teacher said. "Gandhi had actually introduced the concept of nonviolent protest to most of the world at the time."

Vegeta then threw something at a nearby student. "Raditz!" he whispered.

Raditz was still not paying attention.

Vegeta threw a pencil. "Raditz!"

Raditz was still busy.

Vegeta threw a textbook at Goku's older brother. "Douchebag!"

Raditz was currently unconscious and slumped over in his seat.

"_Man...I wish I was cool, then no one could pick on me and beat me up....."_ Marcellous thought. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep, and had began to dream about life as an A-Lister....


	2. Marcellous Likes Who?

"_Ohmigod, Marcellous is coming!" shouted a generic girl as she talked to one of her friends. Immediately upon hearing that Marcellous was coming many a female opened their lockers, and began to check makeup and whatnot._

"_He's here!"_

_This was true, as Marcellous came waling down the hall, dudes and chicks alike basking in his metaphorical glow. This was not the current Marcellous however, this was College Marcellous._

"_Sup?" asked one of the generic dudes as he gestured to Marcellous._

"_Nothin' but the ceiling, man."_

_Then the hallway shook with laughter._

_Marcellous looked around, until he settled on Broly, beating up yet another nerd._

"_Honestly Broly, this is getting pretty old."_

"_Yes, master." whispered Broly as he knelt down beside Marcellous. Then Marcellous slapped Broly across the back of his head._

"_Thank You!" shouted Broly as he began to grovel._

"_It's good to be the king."_

* * *

Marcellous was awakened by the sound of Vegeta slamming a textbook down on his desk.

"h-Huh? What happened?"

"Class ended about 2 minutes ago." Vegeta started. "I'm actually pretty impressed that a nerd like you slept through class."

"We prefer to be called Intellectually Gifted."

"You frickin' nerd, man."

Marcellous looked sad.

"Oh, you know I'm just kidding." Vegeta laughed.

The Marcellous looked over. "What happened to Raditz?"

Vegeta scoffed. "It's not like I knocked him out with textbook or anything."

"...Whatever."

9:14 AM - Biology

Today in Biology, the student were being grouped in pairs of two to dissect pig fetuses. Yeah, try doing that for a first date.

Raditz was currently holding a scalpel and looking a pig fetus. Then he turned to his partner. "Marcellous, what do I do now?"

Marcellous was currently distracted.

"Marcellous?"

"Marcellous?"

"That Guy!"

"Huh, what?" asked Marcellous as he turned around.

"...What are you staring at?"

"..Nothing."

Then Raditz looked over to what Marcellous was staring at.

Broly was chatting with his lab partner. She had long, blonde hair that went down to about the middle of her back, and she had pulled her hair into a ponytail, having two bangs hand out in front of her face. She laughed as she brushed on of the bangs out of her face.

"...Why are you so interested in Broly and Renelle?"

Then Marcellous covered Raditz's mouth, effectively shutting him up. "Not so loud!"

Raditz then looked at the pig fetus. "..You touched that....and then you touched my mouth!"

"...Yeah?"

Then Raditz ran to the sink and began to wash his mouth out.

A girl walked up to Raditz. "Just realized you had bad breath?"

"Shut up, Radiza."

"Don't be so jealous just because your GPA is .2 points below mine."

"Shut up!"

"I bet I can finish the assignment before you even begin it."

"You're on!"

"By the way, don't get too....distracted." Radiza said as she pointed to the partners right in front of Raditz and Marcellous.

Bulma and Vegeta were partners, but they were too busy making out to actually get any work done.

Raditz ran back to his seat.

"Come on! We have to beat the clock!"

"For wha-"

"Finished!" Raditz shouted as he held up a pig liver.

"....You were supposed to dissect the heart."

12:15 PM - Lunch

The future members of Dorm 666 were sitting together in lunch, just chatting.

Goku moved around the strange substance on his tray. "..What is this supposed to be, anyway?"

Vegeta took a good whiff. "...I think that's the meatloaf."

"No way, that's the gelatin."

Goku took a bite. "....Oh, that's totally mashed potatoes."

Raditz stared at Vegeta. "...Why'd you hit me with a textbook in History?"

"I wanted you to pass a note to Bulma, but you and your stupid self was too busy competing with Radiza."

"Oh yeah?" asked Raditz, "Well I have a 3.8 GPA!"

"That's still not as good as my 4.5 GPA." Marcellous commented.

Goku looked at Marcellous. "What were you staring at in Bio?"

"He has a crush on Renelle, methinks." Raditz said as he nonchalantly drank his milk.

"Shut up!"

"You like Rae?" asked Vegeta, "But she's with Broly!"

"SHUT UP!"

"What are we talking about?" asked Goku.

Marcellous sighed as he ate his sandwich. "Why me?"

"You shouldn't talk with your mouth full." Goku mumbled as food began to leak out of his swollen cheeks. "You could cho-"

Then Goku stared choking.


	3. The Locker Room

12:30 PM – Gym (Locker Room)

"Hey Goku.." Vegeta asked as he took off his shirt, "It's pretty hot in here."

"Yeah...I know."

"Do I look hot to you?"

"Yeah, you kinda do."

Then Raditz began to laugh. "You're gay!"

"How does that make me gay?"

"You think he's hot!"

"....Oh, I get it."

Then Raditz put on his shorts. "Hey, you guys wanna peek into the girls' locker room?"

Goku then slyly looked at Marcellous. "I know someone who does....."

"Shut up!"

Then Vegeta lifted up a piece of wood from a wall, revealing a hole.

"Ladies first." Vegeta whispered as he gestured to Goku.

"Thank you, my good man." Then Goku peeked through the hole. He then shot his head up and began to hold his eye.

"What happened?" asked Marcellous.

"They poked me in the eye!"

Then the coach came in. "Come on guys, let's go!"

Then everyone filed up and left.

A few minutes later, Raditz and Vegeta were arguing over something.

"I'm a better athlete than you!"

"No, I am!"

"There's only one way to settle this!" Vegeta shouted, "The manliest way possible...."

Then they both started cat fighting.

Meanwhile, Marcellous was up on a bleacher, drawing something.

"Hey, buddy!" Goku cheered as he scooted over to Marcellous, having been benched due to his eye.

"Hey."

"What'cha doing?" he asked.

"Drawing."

"Drawing what?"

"Stuff."

"What kinda stuff?"

"Stuff people would draw."

"What would people draw?"

"Draw-able things."

Then Goku looked at the drawing.

Then he examined Marcellous' field of view.

"...Why are you drawing a picture of Rae while she's stretching?"

"Shut up!"

Meanwhile, Broly and one of his friends were looking at Marcellous from the other side of the gym.

Broly picked up a dodge ball. "10 bucks says I'll nail the nerd from across the gym."

"I don't know man, nerds are very fragile and-"

"Shut up, Waldo."

Then Broly threw the dodge ball straight at Marcellous.

"Hey, a nickel!" Marcellous noted as he bent over to pick up a nickel. As a result, the ball ricocheted off the wall and hit Broly right in the face.

"...Cool." said Waldo as he picked up the ball.

1:00 PM – Locker Room

Goku was golding some ice over his eye, and trying to tie his shoes.

"Sooo...." he nonchalantly started, "Someone likes to draw."

"Shut up!"

Vegeta once again lifted to piece of wood. "Fuck drawing, experience the real thing."

Marcellous reluctantly put his eye up to the hole. "...Oh my God." he whispered.

"What?" asked Raditz.

"They're not wearing panties!"

Then Vegeta pushed Marcellous out of the way and began eagerly peek.

One of the girls caught wind of him. "Hey! That weirdo is peeking!"

"Pervert!"

Then Vegeta fell backwards and began to cover his eye.

"That'll show him!"

"Girl Power!"

"What happened?" asked Goku.

"They...they had pepper spray!!"

"Well, let's go." said Raditz as the bell rang.

Then everyone left, leaving poor Vegeta to spazz out on the floor.


	4. The Bet

1:30 PM – Hallway

Raditz was getting some things out of his locker, probably to do some homework.

"Soooo...." Goku started, "Any new topics lately?"

Marcellous chuckled a little. "Vegeta got pepper sprayed."

Then they all laughed. "I think he's still in the locker room!" Raditz said.

"Watch it." Radiza growled as she pushed Raditz aside to get to her locker.

"You could have at least asked, you know." Goku mumbled.

"...Excuse me?" Radiza asked.

"You could have at least-"

A few minutes later, Goku was sprawled out on the floor.

"Later, chumps." Radiza said as she began to walk over to Broly and Renelle. "Oh, Marcellous?"

"Yes?" Marcellous asked.

"Thanks for letting me cheat off your homework." she winked at him.

A few seconds after she left, Raditz frantically grabbed Marcellous. "You did WHAT?!"

"...I-"

"I can't believe you!" Raditz shouted, "How could you do that to me?!"

"But I didn't-"

Then Raditz began to tug at his hair. "This could be my untimely demise!"

"Hey, guys!" Vegeta cheered as he walked down the hall to his friends.

"Dude...." Marcellous started, "How serious is that damage?"

The entire left side of Vegeta's head was bandaged. "Not too serious..the next 2 days are just very important."

Then Goku finally got up.

"What happened to you?"

"...I ran into a brick wall." Goku slurred.

Raditz zipped up his bag. "Well, let's got to the library."

2:34 PM – Library

The guys were just sitting together, studying and doing homework.

Goku was sitting next to Marcellous. "...What's question 23 of the history homework?"

"The French and Indian War."

"I see."

Vegeta had his phone out, and was looking very intrigued at it.

Raditz peeked over to see what Veg-head was doing. "....Sexting? Honestly?"

"You need to live a little, man." Vegeta said.

"Tell me that when you're the only person that has to repeat the grade."

"That would have happened last year...." Vegeta started, "If I didn't hack into the school system and change my F to a B in Bio."

Raditz gasped. "_That's _why we had Baked Alaska for the whole week!"

This outburst was quickly shushed by the Librarian.

Marcellous was currently staring at Renelle, who was studying with Broly. _"Damn, she is so perfect..." _he thought, _"How does some Neanderthal like Broly get a girl who's smart,good-looking, and sassy-Oh God, she's coming over!"_

"Hey, Rae!" Goku cheered, as she walked over.

"Hi Goku, what's going on?"

"Not much...." Goku said, "Your sister gave me a concussion."

"...Fascinating." Then Rae leaned over the table. "Hey, Marcellous!"

"...Hello, Renelle...." Marcellous said, trying his damned hardest not to have a major nosebleed.

"You wanna go out Friday?" she asked.

Marcellous' brain shut down. His dream girl had just asked him about. Hell, he might have even lost a few brain cells trying to register what just happened.

"....Marcellous?"

"..Huh, what?

"Do you wanna go out Friday?" Rae asked again.

"..Aren't you going out with Broly?" Marcellous finally managed to ask.

"We've been having a few rough patches..we've decided to experiment."

"..I-I've always liked experiments..."

"I knew you would." Rae smiled as she handed him a piece of paper. "Call me at 7." she said as she walked back to Broly.

"..Damn.." Vegeta started, "Look at that ass."

"Marcellous?" Raditz asked, "Are you okay?"

Marcellous had fainted.

Meanwhile, Rae was still with Broly.

"Did you hook him?" Broly asked his girlfriend.

"Ace in the hole!" Rae smiled, "You're gonna owe me 50 bucks when I take him to junior prom and totally embarrass him!"

"I don't think so." Broly said, "I'd hate to admit it, but Marcellous is a pretty smart guy. Sooner or later, he's gonna figure out you're pulling his leg."

"Whatever."


	5. Cheating Life

4:46 PM – Vegeta's House

Vegeta's father was currently on yet another business trip,so they guys had the house to themselves and were currently using it as a study hall.

"Yahtzee!" shouted Goku as he threw a paper ball at his brother.

"Take this!" Raditz shouted as he flicked his pen at Goku. On contact, Goku began holding his neck frantically as blood began to seep from it.

"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!"

Then Raditz fainted.

"Goku, you're bleeding." Marcellous said, as he looked up from his Trigonometry book.

"...Or so you think." Then Goku showed Marcellous his hand, a crushed ketchup packet in it.

Vegeta laughed. "Good one, Kakarot!"

_**45 minutes later**_

Goku and Vegeta were currently testing each other.

"Little Tommy rode his bike every Sunday for 3 hours on his paper route." Vegeta read, "If Tommy gets paid $2.50 for every paper he delivers and he drops 3 papers every 5 miles on his 75 mile route, how much money would Little Tommy have if he only dropped 2 papers every 7 miles on his 60 mile route?"

"....Food." Goku said as he went into the kitchen.

"...Actually, it says this is supposed to be a trick question." Vegeta read. "Tommy goes to Church every Sunday."

"Did you ever go to a church bake sale?" Goku asked, "That is some Holy Goodness right there!"

"I saw a couple doing it in a confession booth." Vegeta replied. "...They asked me if I wanted to join."

"What did you do?"

"I laughed." Vegeta smiled. "I had already done that chick the night before."

Then Goku redirected his attention to Raditz, who was still unconscious.

"Hey...do you still have that costume from Halloween last year?"

"I sure do."

Then Goku and Vegeta snickered to themselves.

* * *

"Raditz!" Vegeta frantically shouted, "Wake up! Wake up!"

Raditz began to slur. "Huh...what happened?"

"He's...." Vegeta couldn't finish. "He's behind you!"

Raditz turned around, and Michael Myers was standing behind him.

At this point, Raditz has sweat running down his brow, tears running down his eyes, and piss running down his leg.

Michael then raised up his machete in a threatening manner.

Raditz screamed like a girl, and began to run. Michael had stabbed Raditz in the pants, tearing them off as Raditz ran straight through the glass sliding door. As he ran off into the distance, one could see he also had diarrhea running down his tightie-whities.

"Good one!" Vegeta laughed as soon as Raditz was no longer seen.

Michael took off his mask. "I'm glad we did that, Vegeta!"

"Kakarot, will you ever cease to amaze me?"

"I dunno, let's ask Marcellous!"

Then they both turned around.

"...Where'd Marcellous go?"

10:25 PM – Marcellous' House

Marcellous was up in his room, apparently working on some sort of potion or serum.

"_This better work."_ Marcellous thought, _"I've been working on this for the last two years."_

After he added a little drop of a green serum to a test tube of blue serum, it began to fizz and crackle. It overflew a little, but it eventually died down.

"_This is the moment of truth."_

Then Marcellous drank the serum.

"_Okay, now I just have to wait for the effect to take place overnight."_

Then Marcellous got into bed and turned off the lights.

"_Note to self: Don't make serums lemonade flavored. It burns like all hell."_


	6. The New Marcellous

7:15 AM – Marcellous' House

Goku, Vegeta and Raditz were in Raditz's car, waiting for Marcellous so they could carpool to school.

"...I wonder what's taking him?" asked Goku.

"He's probably picking out his suspenders for today!" laughed Vegeta.

"I'll call him and find out." Raditz said as he pulled out his phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Marcellous, are you okay? You sound different."

"_Nah, it's just this....thing.....I drank last night."_

"Whatever. We're outside your house, so could you hurry up so we're not late?"

"Yeah! If I get one more late pass, Principal Cooler will call my mom!"

"I thought you said you didn't know your mom!" Goku asked.

"I don't, but Bulma's mom is tired of getting those calls!" Vegeta explained.

Just then, a new person stepped out of Marcellous' house. This was not the nerd everyone was accustomed to laughing at and beating up, however.

"Hey, guys."

"...Who are you?"

"It's me, Marcellous."

"Impossible!" Raditz shouted, "No suspenders, no glasses, no nervousness, no high-water pants....nothing."

Marcellous hopped into the car. "I'll tell you guys the story on the way there."

8:00 AM – Hirokiwa Academy

The Guys were walking down the hall, before Homeroom. All of a sudden, Raditz stopped.

"Oh my god."

"What is it?"

As it turns out, Radiza was having a talk with Raditz and Goku's father, Bardock.

"Ah, I see." Bardock said, intrigued.

"I hope that answers your question." Then Radiza walked away. Raditz tried to hide, but the paternal instincts of Bardock prevailed.

"Raditz." He sternly said.

"....Y-yes dad?" Raditz meekly answered.

"What's this I hear about you falling asleep in class the other day?"

"W-well...I..."

"Actually, he was knocked unconscious after....someone....nailed him in the head with a textbook." Marcellous intervened.

"....Who are you?" asked Bardock.

"It's Marcellous."

Bardock began to laugh. "That's rich!"

"No, It seriously is me."

"If it is you, then what is-"

"An orange kangaroo in Denmark."

"Damn, it IS him!" Bardock said, astounded. "What did you do to yourself?"

"To tell you the truth..." Marcellous started, "....I altered my DNA."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah...I amplified the very few 'cool' genes I had and downsized the 'nerd' genes."

"That's a genetic breakthrough!"

"Don't tell anyone...this is a once in a lifetime chance to clean my slate and start over."

"I got you." Bardock said. "But as for you, Raditz....I'll be watching you..." Then Bardock began walk away.

"He's not watching me."

"I'm watching you-"

Then Bardock walked into a door.

8:30 AM – Trigonometry

"Okay, who knows the answer to last night's test prep?" asked Mrs. Hawkins, the Trigonometry teacher.

Marcellous raised his hand.

"Yes......you?"

"19.3557." Marcellous said, gettin' down with his mathematical self.

"Say, I haven't seen you around lately, what's you're name?"

"Marcellous."

Then the whole class laughed.

"Am I being Punk'd?" Mrs. Hawkins asked, "Come on out, Ashton!"

Silence.

"Okay.....If you really are Marcellous, then what-"

"An orange kangaroo in Denmark."

"Oh my Lord!" Mrs. Hawkins gasped, "It IS him!"

Broly was sitting next to Rae, and they weren't too happy.

"That can't be him." Broly whispered, "He's just too scared to come to school today, because he's probably picking out new suspenders for your 'date' tonight."

"I dunno, he knew Mrs. Hawkins was thinking about an orange kangaroo in Denmark!" Rae whispered back, "He's the only one who knows that!"

"Whatever."

At that moment, Marcellous got a text message. Luckily, his phone was on vibrate.

"_R u rly Marcellous?"_

Marcellous smiled as he wrote his reply. When he was done, Bulma's phone vibrated.

"_Does Mr. Matthews have a toupee'?"_

Bulma held back a laugh as she wrote her reply.

"_How did u end up like that?"_

Marcellous wrote his reply.

Meanwhile, Raditz was about to doze off, but his eye caught something.

Bardock was staring at him from the hallway. Raditz immediately perked up.

"Wow, Radiza's advice on Helicopter Parenting really worked!" Bardock said. "HELICOPTER PARENT, AWAY!"

Then Bardock began to spin like a helicopter....

….until he crashed into a locker.

"Blackhawk down!" he shouted as he flailed his arms about, "BLACKHAWK DOWN!!!"

All of a sudden, Mrs. Hawkins caught Marcellous texting. "Marcellous!"

"...Yes?"

"Principal's Office, after school."

"Okay."

When she turned her back, Marcellous stood up and flipped her off, causing a huge laugh. When Mrs. Hawkins turned around, however, all was well.

1:50 PM – Principal Cooler's Office

Marcellous walked into the Principal's Office, and there sat Principal Cooler. Cooler, as in Frieza's older and awesome-er brother.

"So this is the new Marcellous." Principal Cooler said. "Have a seat."

Marcellous did just that.

"So I hear you've been busted for texting in class....why?"

"A friend sent me a text asking why I look like this."

"And you couldn't have waited until the end of class?"

"Sorry, I'm not used to having people text me a lot."

"....Okay. I'm gonna let it slide this once." Principal Cooler said, "Just tell me one thing..."

"What?"

"Why did you change?"

"Let's say...I just got tired of doing what everyone told me to do."


	7. The First Date

6:15 PM – Radiza's/Rae's House

The two sisters were sitting at home, with Rae upstairs and Radiza watching TV.

"Hey sis!" Radiza shouted, "Are you seriously going on a date with Marcellous?"

"Yeah!" Rae replied, "I'm just hooking him so I can embarrass him at junior prom!"

"I'd hate to admit it, but he actually looks hot now."

Rae scoffed. "I bet he's still the same old nerd."

"I just can't stand the way he hangs out with Raditz!" Radiza said, "I mean, I'd DIE If I had to hang out with him!"

"Oh, it's not like you'll end up together or anything."

Radiza laughed. "Yeah, that would be so far fetched, like us having a son that visits from the future."

"If you did, what would you name him?"

"Probably something simple, like....Spencer, or something like that."

Then someone knocked on the door.

"Keep him busy." Rae said, "I gotta finish dressing."

Radiza opened the door, revealing The Nerd Formerly Known As Marcellous.

"Hey, Radiza!" Marcellous said, "Is Renelle ready yet?"

"Nah, but you can chill with me for a while, If that's okay."

"That'll be fine."

Then they both sat on the couch.

"Sooooo..." Marcellous started, "What are you watching?"

"Wildboyz."

"Isn't that the show where Chris Pontius and Steve-O do random crap all over the world?"

"Yeah, it's basically Discovery Channel, but with Jackass elements."

"Nice."

Then they both laughed as Steve-O got his nipple bitten by a fire ant. (**A/N: **That actually happened on an episode of Wildboyz, BTW.)

"You know, Steve-O really is a funny guy."

"And to think he used to be a major drug addict...."

Then Rae came downstairs.

"Are you ready to go?" Rae asked.

"Only if you are."

Rae cracked a little smile as they both got up and went outside.

7:00 PM – Movie Theater

Marcellous and Rae were watching Batman Begins, which is a kickass movie, IMO.

"This really is a nice movie." Rae started, "I just don't get why it's so damn dramatic."

"Well, it has to be." Marcellous explained, "You see, Bruce Wayne's parents were killed when he was a little boy, and this movie tells his adventures in becoming Batman."

"..Whatever." Rae sighed, "It would be easier to watch if that couple stopped making out for a few seconds."

"Hey!" Marcellous shouted, "Down in front!"

The male looked up. "What the hell to you want, you cuntfucker?!"

Marcellous looked closer. ".....Vegeta?"

"Marcellous, is that you?"

"Hell yeah, it's me!" Marcellous said, "What the fuck are you doing making out at the movies?"

"What else can I do at the movies?"

"Watch the damn movie, maybe?"

"Hi Bulma!" Rae said, as she waved at the female participant.

"Rae, is that you?" Bulma asked, also looking up.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Then a security guard came down the ramp. "Excuse me, but I must ask you four to leave at once."

"....Fuck you!" All four yelled in unison.

Then the security guard grabbed Bulma and attempted to forcefully remove her.

"Hey, stop it!" Bulma began to flail around, until her foot met the guard's 'nads. The guard then keeled over in pain, holding said 'nads.

Vegeta and Marcellous then looked at each other for a brief moment, before they both got up and kicked the security guard further down the ramp.

"Well, that was awfully fun." Marcellous said.

"You read my mind." Veg-head replied.

10:00 PM – Movie Theater

The four had just walked out of the theater, having finished watching the movie.

"Well, that was nice." Rae said.

"I know, the ending has so much possibilities for a sequel." Marcellous replied.

Then the previously attacked security guard walked up to Vegeta.

"Y-you....."

Vegeta and Marcellous looked at each other again, before lifting the guard over their heads.

"H-Hey! Let me go!"

"Drop your wallet!"

"But..."

"I SAID DROP IT!!"

Then Vegeta began to shake the security guard before a wallet and a bag of cocaine fell out.

"Dude, what was that for?" Marcellous asked.

"I wanted popcorn."

"....He's still in your hands."

"Oh, right." Then Vegeta proceeded to throw the security guard into a pinball machine, coins flying everywhere.

"All right!" shouted one of the many kids that rushed toward the machine. "Thanks mister!"

"No problem!" Vegeta said, showing and out-of-character smile.

"....Who wants coffee?" Marcellous asked.

"It's on me!" Vegeta proclaimed as he picked up the security guard's wallet.

10:15 PM – Dunkin' Donuts (Don't ask me how a DD would be open that late)

Marcellous, Rae, Bulma, and Veg-head were all having coffee and donuts, courtesy of the security guard's credit card.

"Soo...how was the movie?" asked Rae.

"It was pretty good." Bulma said, "Better than Batman and Robin."

"Hey, don't knock that movie." Marcellous said, "It's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Vegeta laughed, "Not that bad?! It was a box office bomb!"

"It's not as bad as Batman Forever!"

"True, True." Rae said, "That movie was shit."

"So Vegeta, what did you find that guy's wallet?" Bulma asked.

"$50, a condom, and three credit cards." Vegeta sighed, "The usual."

"Keeping a condom in your wallet is actually a bad idea." Marcellous said, "Your body heat spreads to it, drying it up and rendering it useless."

"So _that's_ why I caught crabs!" Vegeta realized.

"Vegeta...." Bulma started, "....I never had crabs."

"....Marcellous, can I talk to you for a second?" Vegeta asked as he led his friend away.

"Soooo...." Bulma started, "How good is Marcellous?"

"..What do you mean?"

"How good is he in the sack?"

"Bulma!" Rae said, "That's sick! We're far from having sex!"

"I knew it!" Bulma said, "....He's impotent."

"No, you see.....Broly and me are still together, but we're having a bet. If I can get Marcellous to go as my date to junior prom, I'll embarrass him and win the bet!"

"That's so mean!" Bulma whispered, "You know he's eventually gonna find out, right?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Then a voice boomed outside.** "THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP."**

"**YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!**" Vegeta shouted, "**I DIDN'T KILL JUAN!!**"

Then Vegeta pulled a gun out of his pants and began shooting at the fuzz.

Marcellous slowly crawled in and got to Bulma and Rae. "Let's get out of here now!"

11:15 PM – Radiza/Rae's house

Marcellous and Rae were standing on Rae's doorstep, Marcellous having borrowed Raditz's car to driver her home.

"Well...we're here."

"I had a great time tonight, Marcellous."

"So did I, Renelle."

"Please...just call me Rae."

"...Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

Rae kissed Marcellous on the cheek, and then went inside.

"Well, how was it?" Radiza asked, eager for details.

"Radiza....I think I'm in danger of losing this bet."

"Why?"

Rae began taking deep breaths. "I-I....I think...."

"Oh, don't tell me..." Radiza said, "...You actually _like_ him?"

Rae slowly nodded. "I can only hope he doesn't do the same...."

Meanwhile, Marcellous was blushing so badly he could be mistaken for The Noid.

"_I can't believe that just happened!"_ Marcellous thought, _"Maybe she likes me back!"_

Marcellous was about to get in the car, but Vegeta ran up to him and took the keys.

"Can I borrow this?"

"Well..."

"Thanks!"

Then Vegeta hopped into the front seat. "Here's a gift!" Then he sped off.

As soon as Marcellous opened the bag, police cars surrounded him and a helicopter spotlight shined on him.

"Freeze!" one of the many cops that brandished their guns shouted, "We have you surrounded!"

"**DAMNIT, VEGETA!**"


	8. The Break Up

6:45 AM – Road

Raditz, Marcellous and Goku were riding to school.

"So Vegeta did what?" Goku asked, from the back seat.

"You'll have to speak up, Goku." Marcellous said, "We can't hear you from the Chamber of Forgotten Existence."

Raditz laughed. "Good one!"

"Anyway, Vegeta got cuffed."

"HOW?" Goku shouted.

"Dude, you don't have to yell."

"BUT YOU SAID YOU CAN'T HEAR ME FROM THE CHAMBER OF FORGOTT-"

Then Goku got hit with a textbook.

"So Vegeta apparently killed some dude named Juan, and the fuzz found out."

"He killed Juan?" Raditz asked, "Must be a crack smuggler."

"Most likely."

Then a car pulled up next to Raditz and rolled down its window.

"Oh, God." Raditz whispered as he banged his head on the wheel.

"Excuse me sir, do you have and Gray Poupon?"

"Dad, can please stop?"

Bardock laughed. "Sorry, I just had to do that."

"Whatever."

"I'm watching you." Bardock said. "Just remember that."

"Sure..."

"HELICOPTER PARENT, AWAY!!!"

Then Bardock sped off.....

…...straight into a tree.

"BLACKHAWK DOWN! BLACKHAWK DOWN!"

"Raditz, should we check on him?" Marcellous asked.

"Just...just move on."

7:15 AM – Hirokiwa Academy

Goku, Marcellous and Raditz had just walked into the school.

"Excuuuuuuse me!" shouted the generic hall monitor nerd. "You're late!"

"Sorry." Raditz said, "You see, we were caught in-"

"I don't care, you primitive simian!" Hall-Nerd said. "You're getting a ticket! All three of you!"

"Now, hold on." Marcellous said. "I used to be a hall monitor, and we never did-"

"Rules change." Hall-Nerd said, "Just like elemental scales."

"I like Pancakes!" Goku said.

"...Names please."

"Shawn Michaels." Raditz said.

"Don't try to fool me!" Hall-Nerd fumed, "Shawn Michaels is a wrestle-"

Then Raditz kicked Hall-Nerd in the face.

"Wow, that was unexpected." Goku said.

"I was feeling spontaneous."

"So what do we do now?" asked Marcellous, "We need to wait until 2nd period starts."

"Let's hack the school system so we can actually get edible lunch!" Goku suggested.

"Kakarot, I'm surprised!" Raditz said, "'Edible' is a very adult word!"

"That's not a bad idea." Marcellous said, "I'm tired of green spaghetti."

"Well, let's go!" Goku said, before being shushed.

"Keep it down!" "Raditz whispered, "We can't be caught!"

7:30 AM – Principal Cooler's Office

The Principal's office was empty, leaving the three friends to cause a ruckus.

"Okay, what do we do now?" asked Goku.

"I have to hack into the base, which should be no problem." Marcellous explained. "I just need someone to keep lookout."

"I can do that." Raditz said as he positioned himself near the door.

"Alright. Let's go to work."

Marcellous made his way over to the desk, where he took a look at Principal Cooler's laptop.

"....What the hell kinda wallpaper is this?" he asked.

Principal Cooler's wallpaper was a picture of him and his younger brother boozing off.

"Who the hell could that guy be?" Goku asked.

"Probably some random guy." Marcellous said, "It's not he's gonna be the Headmaster for our choice college, or something."

"Yeah, that would be like him turning into a jackass, and us forming a gang to get back at him." Goku said, "Totally far fetched."

".....Out of argument's sake, If we did do that, what would we name our gang?" Marcellous asked.

"Something retarded, like...D-Generation X, or something."

"Okay, I'm in!" Marcellous said.

"He's coming!" Raditz whispered.

"Shit!" said Marcellous as he minimized the window.

Then the three guys huddled up in Principal Cooler's personal locker as he entered the room.

"Man, I hate traffic." he said, "What kind of idiot drives his car into a tree?"

Then he sat down at his desk. "I think I'll tap into the school's saving funds to buy myself a Plasma TV....who eats school lunch, anyway?"

Then Principal Cooler looked sick. "..I shouldn't have had that breakfast burrito!"

Then he ran into his personal bathroom.

The guys slowly crept out of the locker.

"No one eats school lunch, huh?" Raditz asked as he switched the pencil sharpener with the intercom button.

The guys then scurried into the locker, as Principal Cooler came out.

"Damn, I better asked the nurse for some Pepto." he said as he reached for the intercom, but stuck his finger in the sharpener instead.

"Ouch!" he shouted, "Son of a bitch!"

A few seconds went by, and he did it again, with the same result.

Then he unzipped his pants.

The intercom buzzed. "Sir, there has been a security breach in the front schoolyard."

Principal Cooler got up and zipped his pants. "Just when I was about to get down with my masochist self!"

They guys slowly got out as Principal Cooler left.

"That was some freaky shit." Raditz said.

"I wonder what the security breach was.." Goku said as he peeked out the window.

Vegeta was fighting off a bunch of prison guards.

"**YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!" **he shouted, **"JUAN DESERVED WHAT HE GOT!!"**

By now, the whole school was crowded in a circle around the fight.

"Hey guys!" Marcellous said, "the junior prom is tomorrow!"

"..What of it?" asked Raditz.

"Should I ask Rae to go with me?"

"It depends, does she seems to like you?"

"...She kissed me last night."

"Oh, ask her."

"Alright...I will." Marcellous said, "By the way, we're having Chicken Cordon Bleu for all of next week."

Then the bell rung.

"We better get to class..."

1:40 PM – Hallway

School was over, and most students were getting ready to leave.

"Hey, Radiza!" Marcellous said as he walked over to her locker, "Do you know where Rae is?"

"She's at her locker." Radiza said. "Damn, Bulma must come with a vacuum attachment."

"Why?"

Radiza pointed over to Bulma and Vegeta, who were currently involved in a heated and passionate make-out session.

"Oh, that's nothing new."

"Really?"

"They do that all the time." Marcellous said, "I would be surprised if they found out how to do a three-way kiss."

Then Marcellous walked over to Rae. "Hey!"

"Hey, Marcellous." Rae said, "Anything new?"

"You know....Junior Prom is tomorrow night...."

"_Oh God...."_ Rae thought, _"He likes me back! What do I do?"_

"So I was wondering....would you go with me?"

".....I'd love to go with you!" Rae said.

"Great!" Marcellous said, "I'll pick you up at 7, If that's okay."

"That'll be fine. Rae said as she pulled him in closer, "I'll make sure to wear something....nice." Then she kissed him.

Marcellous slowly walked away. His excitement was so obvious a blind guy could see it.

Once he was gone, Broly walked up to Rae.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"Broly...I think I'm actually starting to like him."

"No, that can't happen." Broly said. "You and me have been together for 5 months now, you can't do this!"

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?"

"...You're not going with him."

"I'm sorry, but If you're gonna be like that, we're just not working out."

"...a-Are you breaking up with me?"

"And we can't be friends, either."

Then Rae walked away.

Broly has to lean up against a locker to steady himself. "That little rat bastard stole my girl...." he said to himself. "Oh...he's gonna get it."


	9. The Junior Prom

7:00 PM – Goku/Raditz's bedroom

The future members of Dorm 666 (minus Vegeta) were getting ready to for prom, any only 2 of the 3 had dates.

"Man, this is some bullshit!" Raditz said, "I don't have a date!"

"You could have gotten one...." Goku said, "If you were attractive."

"Shut up!" Raditz shouted, "I went and got a frickin' car just so I could pick up chicks, and nothing happened!"

"Because you're so paranoid!" Marcellous said as he fixed his tie, "You think all women you end up with will just use you for sex and then dump you!"

"I just don't wanna be crushed."

"Keep that up, and you'll be a virgin forever!"

"That's so far far fetched!" Raditz said, "That's like me hooking up with Radiza and us having a son!"

"Yeah!" laughed Goku, "It would be even more dumb if you had a son who came back from the future to visit us in college!"

"...For argument's sake, what would you name the kid?" asked Marcellous.

"Why would you wanna know?" Raditz asked, "Are you gonna write fanfiction about it?"

"No way!" Marcellous said, "Who would wanna write a story about 4 guys in college who do stupid shit on a regular basis?"

"Yeah!" Goku said, "It would probably only get about....124 reviews, or something."

"What would the author's name be, if that happened?" asked Marcellous.

"Probably some guy who think he's the shit." Raditz guessed, "Like....'The Ultimate Saiyan', or something."

Then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Goku said as he opened the door.

"Are you guys ready yet?"

"No, not yet, mom." Goku said to his mother, Fasha.

"By the way, thanks for letting me stay here." Marcellous said, "I don't think I could stand my mom crying about how her little boy is growing up."

"Any time, Marcellous." Fasha said, "I just have to-"

Then there was the sound of porcelain breaking. This wasn't uncommon.

"BARDOCK!" Fasha shouted, "WHAT DID YOU BREAK NOW?!"

"It wasn't me!" Bardock meekly replied, "It was the cat!"

"WE DON'T HAVE A CAT!"

"Well....it was Kakarot!"

"Hey!"

"Uhh.....Poop!" Then Bardock ran out of the house.

Fasha sighed as she grabbed the phone. "I'll have to call the neighbors again...."

Then Goku nonchalantly closed the door as the guys continued dressing.

7:15 PM – Living Room

Goku, Raditz and Marcellous were waiting in the front living room for Vegeta to get here with the limo.

"I'm bored." Goku said as he turned on the TV, "Hey, Wildboyz."

"Meh, I saw that episode when I was over a Radiza and Rae's house."

Then Raditz proceeded to strangle the ever-loving hell out of Marcellous. "YOU WERE WHERE?"

"I-"

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Raditz asked, "YOU TRAITOR! YOU RENDEZVOUSED WITH THE ENEMY!"

Then a horn honked outside.

"That must be Vegeta."

7:30 PM – Road

The guys were in Vegeta's limo (Don't ask me how he got one).

"Hey Vegeta...." Raditz asked," Where'd you get a limo?"

"....Parts unknown...." Vegeta said as he got a soda out of the fridge.

Then a thumping noise came out of the trunk.

Vegeta sighed. "Jenkins, stop the limo."

The limo then came to a halt as Vegeta slowly stepped out and slowly tapped on the trunk.

Then a little Mexican guy popped out of the trunk. "¡Excepto mí! ¡Excepto mí!" he shouted, "¡Me tomaron al rehén!"

"Oh shit!" Vegeta said, "It came with a free Mexican!"

Back in the limo, the guys were dazed and confused.

"I wonder what's going on?" Raditz asked.

"I...told....you....to...keep....quiet....about....Juan!"

Then Vegeta entered the limo with a bloody tire iron in his hand.

"What happened?"

"It was a rat."

"But rat's don't speak Span-"

"A RAT!"

8:00 PM – Hirokiwa Academy Gymnasium

The Guys had just walked into the gym, and boy, they were stunned.

The whole gym was flashing a bunch of different colors, with everyone dancing to techno music. The loudspeakers were blasting with music, and everyone was having a great time.

"I love partying..." Raditz said, "I think I'll do it now!"

Then Raditz immediately jumped onto the dance floor, and began poppin' and lockin' and jammin' and whatnot.

The second Raditz hit the dance floor, everyone else got off.

Goku made a bee-line toward the food.

"Goku, you could at least save for everyone else!" Chi-Chi said as she walked up to him.

Then Goku help up a handful of chips.

"No thanks, I'm on a diet."

Vegeta walked over to his girlfriend, who was drinking some (most likely alcoholic) punch.

"Hey." Vegeta said as he sat down next to her.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting?" Bulma asked, "A lot! That's how long!"

"But I-"

"If I think that's you're and ash-hole, you'd be wired!"

"Bulma, are you-"

Vegeta couldn't finish as Bulma grabbed him by the shirt and began to smooch him. After a while, she came up for air.

"Wow, that was-"

Bulma grabbed a handful of Vegeta's hair and forced his head closer to her face.

"Bulma, what do you-"

"Fuck the shit out of me."

Vegeta had no objections as he and Bulma sped off to the Janitor's Closet.

Meanwhile, Marcellous and Rae were sitting together.

"Soo...how's the party?" Marcellous asked.

"...Could be better." Rae said, "Marcellous, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what is it?"

then Rae noticed everyone had gotten back on the dance floor, because Raditz had passed out from exhaustion.

"Maybe should go somewhere private."

"I have to keys to Vegeta's limo."

"But why doesn-"

"Don't ask." Marcellous sighed. "It's a long story."

Meanwhile, Raditz was trying to recover from his Party Boy episode.

"Well, I think someone's been drinking."

"Shut up, Radiza."

"Oh, why the foul language?"

"Can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Can't you just accept that I have more school merits than you?!"

"YOUR GPA WAS ONLY HIGHER BECAUSE I WAS SICK ON A TEST DAY!"

"STOP LYING! YOU KNOW YOU FAKED IT!"

"**YOU JUST DON'T WANNA ADMIT YOU LIKE ME!"**

"**YOU DON'T WANNA ADMIT YOU SKIPPED THAT TEST TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF WHEN I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADE!"**

Then Raditz and Radiza began to inexplicably make out. For two people that hate each other, they sure know how to French. A few seconds went by, and they broke apart.

"Wha...What just happened?" asked Raditz.

"I'm not sure, but it sure as hell felt good!"

Then Radiza forced Raditz into another kiss.

….Raditz had no objections...and that wasn't a Phoenix Wright joke.

8:30 PM – Limo

Marcellous and Rae were nonchalantly sitting in the back of the limo.

"So, what was this you had to tell me?" Marcellous asked.

"Well...this isn't exactly easy...."

Marcellous put his hand on Rae's shoulder. "Rae, you can tell me anything."

"You see...this whole romance between you and me actually happened because of a bet..."

"I see."

"Me and Broly were still together when I went out with you...I was supposed to lure you here to he could trick you in front of everyone..."

"..Go on...."

"But somewhere along the way....I really started to like you....and I broke it off with Broly."

"To tell you the truth...no one thought I would last with you, either."

"Soo...are we past this?"

"You tell me."

Then they kissed. It would have gone on for longer, but someone knocked on the limo door.

Marcellous opened the door. "Can I help-"

Then he was pushed out of the limo, and Broly came in.

"What are you doing here?!" Rae asked.

"I've come to get you back!"

"I don't like you anymore!"

"Either you go with me, or I TAKE you with me!" Broly shouted as he grabbed Rae.

"Hey, stop!"

"Excuse me, would I be interrupting anything if I did this?"

"That depends, what are you-"

Then Marcellous nailed Broly in the head with the tire iron Vegeta had previously used on the "free" Mexican guy. Broly stumbled out of the car, but eventually regained his posture.

"You wanna pull that sorta bullshit?" Marcellous asked, "You're gonna have to go through me now."

Broly laughed. "This is gonna be just like the old days, you stupid nerd."

"You wanna bet?"

"Let's go."

8:45 PM – Hirokiwa Academy Gymnasium

"Hey!" shouted one of the generic students, "Marcellous is fighting Broly!"

"Everyone knows Broly is going to win!"

"Nah, Marcellous is pretty strong now!"

"I'll bet you!"

"Let's go!"

Then all the students began to move out of the gym and into the parking lot.

9:50 PM – Parking Lot

The students had now formed a circle around the fighting Saiyans, and occasionally moved to allow better combat.

"Come on!" Marcellous said as he continued to wield the tire iron, "You can do better than that!"

"Put down the tire iron, and we'll see about that!" Broly challenged.

Marcellous motioned as if to put the tire down, but he threw it at Broly instead, which knocked the wind out of him.

The crowd cheered at this. Marcellous went to grab Broly, but Broly took the tire iron and hit Marcellous in the abdomen with it. Then Broly began to laugh as the crowd booed him.

"Oh you're gonna ge-"

As it turns out, Marcellous had drove his forearm up into Broly's groin when the latter tried to pick him up. As Broly held his junk, Marcellous took his head and jammed it into the limo window.

The crowd cheered even harder as Marcellous ascended to the top of the limo. Once Broly had recollected himself, Marcellous jumped off the roof and attempted to clothesline Broly. Broly had noticed, however, and uppercutted Marcellous in the throat.

After getting huge heat from the crowd, Broly dragged Marcellous over to the limo door and put his ankle in the space. Broly attempted to slam his ankle with the door, but Marcellous kicked it into him.

As Broly turned around to steady himself, Marcellous grabbed the tire iron and hid it behind his back.

"I'm hungry...FOR REVENGE!!!" Broly shouted, in the most overly dramatic and corny way possible.

Then Marcellous tripped Broly. "Eat floor. It's full of fiber."

Then everyone laughed.

Mar shoved the tire iron into Broly junk, and began to twist it....as if using it on a tire. This action garnered much painful groans from the crowd's male population. After a while, Marcellous removed the iron and smashed it into Broly's head, busting him open...badly.

Marcellous then backed up and planned his next move. Then he brightly smiled as Broly got up. Upon fully standing up, Marcellous dropped the tire iron. Broly saw him and ran toward him, but Marcellous jumped behind him. As Broly wondered where Marcellous was, Marcellous applied a full nelson on him. While the crowd cheered, Marcellous tripped Broly, thus shoving Broly's face into the tire iron.

The crowd then began to cheer loudly as a few football players carried Broly away.

"Marcellous!" Rae said as she ran up to her new boyfriend, "You did it!"

"I guess I did, didn't I?"

Then the new couple kissed as the crowd cheered.

10:20 PM – Hirokiwa Academy Gymnasium

Bulma and Vegeta had just finished shagging, and had come out of the closet (no pun intended).

"Hey...where is everyone?" Bulma asked.

"They must have gone home...." Vegeta proposed.

"...Wanna fuck again?"

"You read my mind."

Then they both went back into the closet (again, no pun intended).

* * *

**Well, that's it. The Marcellous Story has been told, and all is well again. But surely, you all know that as this door closes...an old window has opened.**

**That's right.**

**Daddy's comin' home to DBZ College!**

**So I'll see you all very soon...._very_ soon.**

**The Ultimate Saiyan, out.**


End file.
